This is it! The OFFICIAL PERSONAL HOMEPAGE of that most
malevolent midget mutilator, ODERUS URUNGUS,
lead throat-thing of the most dangerous band on this or any other planet--

SLEAZY P. MARTINI, LEGENDARY UNDERWORLD MOGUL, TO RETURN TO THE ROCK STAGE WITH THE MIGHTY GWAR ON THEIR “ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION” TOUR 2008! 

Greeting losers, it is I, the world's shrewdest man, Sleazy P. Martini, manager of GWAR, announcing an entertainment merger between GWAR, Mid-Galactic Wrestling and the 2008 Presidential Election, in a craptacular mashup of a tour we have named “Electile Dysfunction '08.”  Due to popular demand, or cheap club owners that need to be "Martinied", after stiffing me last tour, I have personally come out of my semi-retirement of managing the entire porn industry to make sure that this will be the fairest and squarest test of American Presidential metal we can rig my way. Diebold can't stop the double dollop of degradation and destruction that Clinton and Obama will receive nightly at the hands of Oderus and Bone Snapper, or the torture that will see McCain mc-skinned as the candidates will be forced to prove their Presidential chops in the only arena that matters- the wrestling arena. Yes, all three candidates are on a fight card that also features Bozo Destructo and Sawborg Destructo, as the Desructo-Destucto Express, in a championship tag team match vs. GWAR that will determine Earth's future, for a couple of hours nightly. Yes, the American Presidency and the Mid-Galactic Wrestling belts are on the line, at your local Puko-Plex Organized Death Arena, and you dumb fucks will miss it-- unless you steal your mom's credit card and get tickets now! 

It's politics decided by death sport, the kind of election America deserves. 

Also on the bill will be Kingdom of Sorrow (featuring members of Hatebreed and Crowbar) and Portland’s thrash- lords Toxic Holocaust. Yeah, I own them, too! 
 
                                                                                                              -Sleazy P. Martini 
                                                                                                              Manager of GWAR.

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THE DEMON OF FRANCE, PRINCE RAY PIERRE, IN FLIGHT ABOVE THE APOCALYPSE OF HIS MAKING

Greeting loyal bohabs, slaves, rag-na-rockers everywhere! Here is the latest report, from yours truly, ODERUS URUNGUS, on the activities of your favorite band from another world, the mighty GWAR! As our “May-hem” tour comes to a close, once again I am confronted by the knowledge that our fans rule! But I hated the name of the tour…”May-hem” sounds like we are a bunch of deranged dressmakers.  My suggestion was shot down—“Spring Thing”. It made sense to me! It was spring, and I’m a thing. But anyhoo, great fun was had by all. I remember when I was but a stripling the intense hatred I had of any band whose members were over 30 years of age. Now we have legions of fans who worship a band where the youngest member is 30 million! And not even years, as our age is measured in quatloo’s! And if anybody out there can tell me what a quatloo is (and
what episode of old-school Star Trek it come from), I’ll eat a bowl of your snot.

Now it’s off to merry olde England to host the Golden Gods award ceremony, where I shall solidify my position as the Billy Crystal of heavy metal. Today the Golden Gods awards, tomorrow who knows? Maybe my life-long dream of hosting Jeopardy will be fulfilled. In response to your many queries, yes, I will be raping the Queen, at her request of course. Which leads to the question, is it rape if she asks for it? I don’t know, but all of this rape talk is making me horny. Judging from the turn-out on this little mini-tour, this fall/winter is going to be off the fucking hook! And even as I type the GWAR slaves are busy at the pit, preparing for yet another onslaught on the human race. The band is working on new material; in fact we have two new songs already, Song #1 and Song #2. I haven’t heard them yet, but I’m sure they rule. I prefer to never attend practice, and report to the recording studio the day of vocals completely oblivious to the way the songs sound. I walk in through the wall, vomit on the producer, and then proceed to pass out on the couch. They record me snoring and raving in my drugged-out stupor until they have enough noise for the record. Then they get the fuck out before I wake up. Supposedly David Hasselhoff also uses this approach. Unconventional to be sure! And of course everybody wants to know about the “secret project” that we plan to unveil on the 25th anniversary of GWAR’s re-awakening on Earth. Well, I’d tell you, but it’s so secret that even I don’t know what it is! Oderus clueless? Say it isn’t so, but of course it is. Well, gotta run, the penguins are restless and that can mean only one thing—it’s time to mount the madly flailing porno-cow, and into battle charge! I leave you with this amazing sculpture of yours truly by a human who goes by the name of Tyson Summers. Apparently Brockie (ass that he is), has owed this guy a piece of art for about 2 years or so, so he begged me to post this rather than actually execute the piece. Why anyone would even want a piece of Brockie’s art is beyond me, unless you don’t have a toilet. That’s it for now…stay fucking GWAR!!!!!!!!